For my father…

My dad is one of the strangest people I will ever know. Strange in a good way though. I think that he is everything that a father is supposed to be to his baby girl. When other people see us together they always tell me: “Aaw your dad is so cute…he loves you so much!”

When I was in my teens I gave my dad a bit of a hard time, but as I have gotten older I have started to realise that he does really love my brother and I so much. Also, I have realised that all the things that he has tried to teach me actually do make sense and are trueJ.

He is a really sweet father and I am glad that I have him as my dad. I think the thing I love most about my dad is that he is a very positive person. He only looks for the best in people and he goes for his dreams. To see someone who can be so positive and ambitious in life is really refreshing. His positive attitude inspires me and I love that! He always makes me laugh by telling me the weirdest jokes that only he really understands, but they are really funny nevertheless. I love that my dad can make me laugh because we have lots of fun together!

 I love my dad very much and am very grateful that he is my father!

The last lecture…

This is my last year of study. It has been a long five memorable years. As it comes to its end I find myself quite saddened by this (believe it or not). My student life has been great…so great that I extended it by one year (if you catch my driftJ). I wish that I could actually extend my studies by another year ha ha, but I think my parents would kill me.

So the time for me has come to enter the real, scary world and start earning my own money. I will however never forget what I have learnt through my study years, all the experiences I have made and all the friends I made along the way.

I don’t know what the last lecture will be like, but I think I will be sad to know that I will no longer be attending lectures. Most of my classes are very fun and interesting…others not so much, but nevertheless they will all be missed. I will be sad when I leave, but I will be back hahahahahaha (evil laugh)!!!!

I will be back to get another degree and then I won’t be sad and I will make new experiences and meet new friends and learn new things about life and whatever else. So, I’m excited for that! Let the learning continue!

For my mother...

My mother…I don’t even know where to start. Is it even possible to love someone so much that you can’t even describe it? I guess so…because that is how I feel about my mother. My mother is the most beautiful person in the whole entire world to me. Everything that she does and everything that she stands for can’t be described in this life time. I know that many don’t understand her and many may even think that at times she is crazy, but none can say that they have never been touched by her love and amazing outlook in life. Many leave her conversation with their eyes and mouths wide open, because having a conversation with my mother is like stepping out of this evil world for a while and experiencing something real, like you have never experienced real before. Many times I sit and think…where does she get it from? Where does she come from? Who is she? To this day it still remains a mystery to me, but I am the proudest, luckiest daughter in the world to have her as my mother.

She is the only person in the whole world that knows just how to make my worst day seem like nothing ever went wrong. She is the only one who truly understands me, better than I even understand myself. She is the only one who brings real joy and peace into my life and can make me laugh and when I say laugh I don’t mean giggle, I mean screaming with laughter! She is the only one who makes all the things that I think are wrong in my life, disappear.  My mother is my best friend and I know that with her I am never alone. If ever I feel down or need to scream and shout I just phone my mother and speak to her and she does the same when she is feeling down or needs to scream and shout. It’s as if we are two small girls who can only speak to each other when something goes wrong. My mother is the epitome of strength and courage like I have never seen before.

My mother is a truly remarkable woman and without her, my life would have no meaning. She has taught me everything that I know and she has made me everything that I am. Her love to me is like soul food. I actually really cannot describe and express properly in this blog post who my mother is, what she is like and what she means to me, because honestly it’s just something I can’t describe. My mom describes our relationship like the movie ‘Spanglish’. Maybe if you watched the movie you will understand what I am trying to say. All I know is that I am my mother’s daughter!!!! J   

Watch this space.

I know what I want in life and I know what I want to be in life. How I will do it and how I will get there is something I am clueless about. That is however what makes it all so exciting…watch this space!

What is the difference between living and existing?

I have thought about this a lot lately. Many people exist in life and they go through each day simply existing. They may think that they are living, but they are really not. When you look around at the people in your life, how many of them can you really say are living???? It would be actually very interesting to go around and ask people if they feel that they are really living or simply existing.

It is interesting to see all the feeds on Facebook on what people feel and go through every day. Majority of it is pure bulls*@#! People don’t even realise how much bulls@#t they put on Facebook, it’s ridiculous, but so extremely funny at the same time.

To me, the difference between living and existing is quite large. Existing is when you go through every day, just being. You live in a safety net which you are so afraid to leave and you are so curious about how it would be to leave this safety net, but yet you can’t do it. You do what you “MUST” do and you say what you “MUST” say, because this is what you were taught and this is how you were brought up. You will never go against any of the values you were taught in life because you believe in it and opposing this is not up for debate. In fact, debating it is not even an option. The irony of the situation however is that the people who teach you your values and morals are the ones that mess you up the most…yes I am talking about parents!!!! Parents are the ones who mess up their children the most! (Not all parents, but too many.)

 Anyway, back to my point-doing what you are supposed to do, saying what you are supposed to say and living the way you are supposed to live- This is what it’s like to simply exist.

Living is what happens when you question everything in life, when you take risks, when you fail, when you can rise back up, when you do stupid things (not irresponsible), when you can be completely ridiculous, when you are real and when you are you and not afraid to be any of these things. Yes, it is extremely thrilling and worth every second of it!   

So, if anybody out there still exists, try to start living a little bit and don’t be afraid to do it!

My favourite cat in the hat book is ‘The cat in the hat???’

I have never read Cat in the Hat books in my entire life before...well at least that’s what I think. So I Googled the video ‘Cat in the Hat’ and watched it. I love animation stories and I love watching cartoons, but I’m not a fan of reading….maybe that is why I have never read this book before.

So why is ‘The Cat in the Hat’ my favourite book??? I have absolutely no idea. I watched the video and honestly it wasn’t all that interesting. I know I am supposed to be writing about why this is my favourite book, but I have nothing to say because it really did not fascinate me that much and unfortunately I can’t lie and say that I loved it. If it was ‘Dexter’s Lab’ or ‘Ed, Edd n Eddy’ then that would be a different story. Now those cartoons really get me going ha ha!

The ‘Cat in the Hat’ is cute, but too simple and boring I guess. I love simple, but I was sitting and watching this video thinking to myself ‘when is it getting to the exciting part?’, but that never happened. Well anyway, that was my ‘Cat in the Hat’ experience (no offence to any Cat in the Hat fans). For those of you, who do love this show or this book, please feel free to fill me in the exciting bits that I missed. J

                                        VS 

Scared to enter the real world

I really admire all our parents. They go to work religiously every day and never complain. They work hard and earn a living to provide for their families, which is so noble and admirable. Our parents worked around the age of 18 (just an estimate) and they have never stopped working ever since.

I am about to enter ‘THE WORKING WORLD’ and I’m almost terrified. The only reason I am terrified is because I will have to have a routine-Din din din! (scary sound). Routine freaks me out big time and this is why I say our parents can be admired – because they have had to follow a routine for a number of years and they never give up or complain. I salute them!

Obviously when I enter the working world I will have to have some kind of routine, but I will try my best to make it as non-routine as possible (who am I kidding?) –I’m terrified!!!!!! I may be terrified now, but I know that I will be okay. I always know that no matter what happens I will be okay.

High use of language.

I hate using big complex words. Apart from the fact that I don’t understand most of them, I find it highly unnecessary.  Maybe sometimes you can express yourself better by using a word which is of a high calibre, which is fine. However, sometimes I find people whose vocabulary consist only of a high calibre and I find it most annoying! Conversations with these people are tedious and boring. Some literature that I have to read is of extreme high calibre and I hate that too!  

The reason I hate it is because at the end of the day when you say or read a sentence there is only one point to the sentence. In the end it all means the same thing. So why do things need to be made complicated by using very big and hard-to-understand words? I don’t want to sit with a dictionary every time I read or speak to someone. I find high use of language to be somewhat artificial…maybe I’m crazy, but that’s just the way I feel.

Stress causes illness

The worst thing to do in life is to stress. All of us are guilty of stressing, because we are human and that’s okay as long as it is not taken to the extreme. It’s always a guarantee that at the end of whatever it is you were stressing about, you find out that there was no reason at all to stress.

I hate stressing. I can’t stand it. Life is way too short to stress. Some people stress all the time about things that don’t even matter and they cause a lot of tension and even heartache due to this unnecessary stress. People need to learn not to take things so seriously and to get over themselves! Haha!

Stress makes you ugly. You can see when someone is stressed –short term or long term. It affects your entire being, your aura, skin, the way your face looks…just EVERYTHING!!!!!!! Many terminal illnesses are caused by stress and people don’t realise this. If you are happy you have a higher chance of being healthier and living longer. So stop stressing and be happy!

Why I have conversations?

I love having conversations. Conversations are so important to have in life. What would life be without them? Time spent on having a conversation is like soul food – obviously if you have meaningful conversations.

I base majority of my conversations on ‘why?’ ‘Why’ conversations, for me, are the most interesting ones you could ever have. You learn so much about anything you want to learn. It’s as if you have information at finger tips. You however have to be cautious of what you hear, because the sources may not be very reliable.

I also have conversations where I share my knowledge with others in hope that I can help them. This is not necessarily academic or factual knowledge, but life experiences. I have lots of conversations where I share life experiences with friends or family.

Sometimes I have conversations to flirt too. These are quite fun! I do suck at them though haha! Then I also have conversations where I talk the biggest load of nonsense ever. The point of having these is to have no point, but I see them as important. These conversations help me to just forget about life for a moment and unwind and not take anything seriously. I love having these conversations.

I have conversations because they are fun, because you learn from them and because it’s interesting to hear other peoples’ views of the world. Communication is one of the most important aspects in life….never forget to communicate, especially with those close to you.

100 things to do before I die.

Here it goes:

1.       Travel the world

2.       Buy my own car

3.       Get another degree

4.       Have my own company

5.       Become an extreme adventurer as a career

6.       Become a boss

7.       Buy my own house

8.       Design my own house

9.       Build random things just for the sake of building

10.   Become a professional soccer player

11.   Become an engineer

12.   Become a geologist

13.   Maybe adopt a child (that’s still up for negotiation)

14.   Influence the world in some way for a good cause

15.   Create a law

16.   Become the president for a while

17.   Become a professional skateboarder

18.   Build my own skate park

19.   Become a music producer

20.   Buy a house for both my parents

21.   Never age

That’s all I’ve got for now and this is more than enough to keep me busy for a looonnnnggggg time. It’s all so exciting to be young because there are endless opportunities for you to explore. If you fail it’s okay, at least you have experienced whatever it is you wanted to and you learnt something from that experience. Failure is never a bad thing.

My big fat BIG dream…

I never really dream in my sleep….well I guess you always dream in your sleep, but I hardly ever remember my dreams. It is very rare that I do remember my dreams. I do however have many dreams for myself.

I have set many goals for myself which I would like to achieve for myself, but I am taking it one step at a time in achieving them. I sort of go through the motions of life and set my goals and dreams according to what I want in my life. This has changed many times, because as time passes I see things differently or I learn something new.

My big fat BIG dream? I don’t really know what that is right now at this stage of my life. I’m actually at a very awkward time of my life, where I feel like I’m floating in the middle of nowhere, just going through the motions, just doing the bare minimum. It really sucks, because I usually know what I want. I still do know what I want, I just can’t wait for this phase to pass.

I wish that this phase I am currently experiencing in my life was my big fat BIG dream, because that’s what it feels like. I wish I could wake up and realise that it is not my reality, but it is…

Conventional is a good fallback position isn’t it?

Hmmm this is something I will have to think about…conventional is tricky. It’s tricky because who created conventional? To me, conventional in human terms is conventional set by someone else or based on past events or experiences made. I don’t really like conventional to be honest. I do agree that in some cases it helps to be conventional as it may create some order or structure and in that case yes, it is a good fallback position. However, in most cases conventional is stupid.

People live their life based on what they believe is conventional. I see this happening around me everyday…even if they hate what they have to do and it makes them hopelessly unhappy, they do it because it’s ‘how things are supposed to be’.

To me, people who live a conventional life (no offence to anybody) don’t take time to question life or challenge ‘the norm’ and they don’t think further than what they should. In short, I believe that people who live a conventional life don’t live their life at all. I strongly believe that people shouldn’t live their life because that’s how they were told or taught to live their lives. You have a brain, a unique brain, a unique personality and your own character –use it and don’t be afraid to use it! Ask a lot of questions, create your own theories, don’t be afraid to fail, don’t be afraid if your opinion differs from most people’s and don’t be scared to pick yourself up if you have failed. Just never, never live a conventional life because you think you have to…nothing ever has to be a certain way!    

My sore teeth

I’m sitting here at this moment in time with terrible tooth ache...it’s so sore!!!! I feel like screaming! Everything is so sensitive and I feel like I can’t even move my mouth. I really hate the dentist though…maybe that is why I have sore teeth in the first place.

Whenever I went to the dentist as a child they would always end up hurting me and then when I got older I made the choice to just stop going to the dentist because they were way too violent and I always left crying. All my experiences at the dentist have been bad. One time I went to the dentist (I was in matric already) and my dad went with me because I was scared because they were going to extract my tooth. I was sitting in the chair, my dad was holding my hand and the dentist was busy doing his thing. Then, next minute he starts pulling and tugging at my tooth and I start fighting with him because he is hurting me and I start crying and my dad is scolding me on the other side – it was a disaster! That is just one of the many bad experiences I have had.

 I guess that a few minutes of being ‘dentist-bullied’ is not as bad as the toothache experience? Maybe I should start going to the dentist again because I’m starting to realise that these are the only teeth I have left in my mouth and I don’t want to end up with false teeth….:/

Losing my smile

The thing I fear most in life is to lose my smile - It’s the most terrifying feeling ever! The moment I start to sense that this is happening I start to panic. Over the past two years I have seen myself get a little bit more serious about life and I’m starting to worry. It’s almost as if a part of my soul is slowly dying. I feel that if my mother were here I would never be afraid and I wouldn’t feel this way at all because she makes my soul smile all the time.

Now that she is not here it feels as though I’m surrounded by people who take life too seriously and as though I’m the only one laughing at life. I hate it, because I don’t constantly want to be the only one laughing. I think the fact that I’m constantly aware of this helps, because when I feel like my fire is taken out of me I just take myself out of the situation and spend some alone time. It’s not easy though.

My mother has told me that we are the only ones who create our own happiness and that we shouldn’t rely on others to make us happy. I agree with her, but I feel that without her here, a big part of my happiness fades. Does this mean that I am relying on her for my happiness? She is an angel though. I feel that wherever she is present there is light and joy. It’s hard to not be surrounded by that all the time. I fear that I am losing my smile and it makes me so unhappy and scared. I don’t know what I would do if this had to happen…

You cannot chase two rabbits at the same time.

Well technically you can chase two rabbits at the same time, but it won’t be easy. If you visualise this image in your mind it is quite funny. Chasing two rabbits at once only means two things to me. One meaning I interpret as chasing two people at the same time (in love) and that is always an epic fail as someone always gets hurt in the end. My second interpretation is that you are trying to do too many things at once, which could also be an epic fail because you can’t do too many things at once and you can’t satisfy everyone at once. So yes, maybe chasing two rabbits at once is not a very good idea…

“Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea.” (Alain)

Having one idea is never a good idea ha ha! It is always best to have a backup plan. If your one idea doesn’t work out, firstly you’d be screwed and secondly you would be really disappointed. I don’t think you’d be disappointed because your idea failed or didn’t work out, but you’ll be more disappointed because you didn’t have a backup plan.

There was no room for error and therefore you are really the only one disappointing yourself. In life you need to make error, in life we need to fail. If we don’t fail, we can’t grow and we can’t learn and we won’t ever need backup plans. Avoid disappointing yourself and have a backup plan, because life does not follow plans – it is not rigid. So relax and be flexible, don’t live by the book and don’t take things too seriously. In fact hardly ever take things seriously J

Have you figured out the second head fake?

I don’t really get what this means (how often do I start my blogs like this) but from what I have researched, it seems that it is about achieving your dreams and living your life with good values. By doing this, the rest will follow. Karma will play its role if you play yours by being a good person. This is a speech given by life coach Randy Pausch. 

I guess that if you have figured out the first head fake you wouldn’t have to worry about the second head fake? Randy then says in the speech that the speech was not for his students but for his three children. Now I’m really confused…I’m not too good with understanding quotes (I think), I want to know exactly what it is you are actually saying. Anyway, Randy obviously had valuable lessons to teach and that’s beautiful.

How hard is it to follow instructions?

I bet you that most people would say that following instructions is not hard at all. However, my opinion seems to differ very much! There have been many times when instructions are written down in black and white, people read it and they still don’t know what to do or what the instructions are actually telling them to do.

I see this so often in daily activities, for example, at university the lecturers give clear instructions on what the students should do and in some mysterious way the students still achieve the exact opposite of what has actually been asked of them. I think all of us have been guilty of this once or twice in our lives, some of us all the time haha!

I know I have a very short attention span and don’t listen properly, but I think the bigger problem here is that people cannot apply themselves. Many people can receive and understand instructions, but cannot actually apply their minds. I wish the world could apply themselves more and be less formal and theoretical. I wish people would stop living by the book. People always complicate things for themselves. Hopefully one day we will get it.

Andy Warhol said, “In the future everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes.” You can’t choose the 15 minutes but why would you be world famous?

This is what the internet has done. It’s made the world even smaller than what we think it is. With all the social platforms available you can post a blog, status, video, note- whatever you want! Within a few minutes, even seconds, you can be well-known for whatever it is you or even someone else has posted on the net. It’s amazing!

Internet has made our world so small and has given us all endless opportunities. People are no longer famous for exquisite talent, but they become famous for exquisite reasons and it’s simpler than it has ever been before. It’s actually quite scary at the same time. We now have access to celebs, actually to anyone, like we have never had before.

If I had to be world famous for 15 minutes I would want to be famous for simply being me. Or I would want to be famous for eliminating a problem in the world for good. These are the only two reasons I would want to be world famous.